Failing a Goal

Hello and Happy Tuesday everyone! I hope you all are having a great week. Can you believe it is already the last week of October? This year has flown by it seems. Two Housekeeping Notes: 1. Go vote! Early voting is going on almost anywhere! 2. Daylight Savings Time is on Sunday 😊 This is the only time a proponent of DST – because we gain an hour. Do away with the other one haha.

If you follow me on social media, you will know I posted about my run on Saturday. And I plan on discussing that, but it has led me to this week’s topic. Here goes:

Last Saturday (10/27) I was signed up for a Half Marathon which is 13.1 miles. I had been training for it for a couple of months now except for about 2 weeks prior (rain and me being lazy). Saturday rolls around, I am very nervous but also excited. I get up on time, get to the park on time, get in line towards the back since I know it will take me about 3-3 ½ hours to complete and then we start. I start running, nothing fancy or fast but I notice I’m a little winded already. I make the turn and hit mile 1 and my tracker says it’s been 15 minutes. Crap. I have started off too fast. My miles typically take me average 17 minutes. And then the next 10 minutes, everything comes to a halt. My shin splints are acting up, I’m very much winded and out of breath, and I have a pain-staking thought – I’m only 25 minutes in and I have 12 more miles to go. Then, the “sweepers” pass me – these are the people who are designated by the running organization to be very last and they have been walking. Well now defeat sets in and I almost lose it. At the rate I’m going, it will take me 4+ hours to finish and I don’t want to do that. I will have to walk almost all of it. So, I text my mom. I mean, what else was I to do right?? I don’t want to quit because this is what I have been training (kinda) to do. It has been 5 years since I’ve run one, so I have to finish. I have lots of people that will notice if I don’t complete this. I don’t give up, I’ve been taught not to quit. It builds character (😊). So, my mom says, “Just go as far as you can. You can always say that it is a starting point for next time”. Why is she so smart? I decide to complete the 5-mile race that is taking place along with the half and it also uses the same course up until a point. I finished the 5 miles, technically having run almost 6 miles since I started with the half marathon people. And I finished almost dead last.

Let’s look at the first point: Accepting defeat and recognizing there is no shame. I have followers on my social medias (not many) that all knew I was running this weekend. Hell, this blog is called Big Boy Running Club – I have to run a race at some point, right? I knew that I had people watching me. And I built up this pressure of completing the task to prove something to them, to me, to everyone. There was a small panic that flashed through my mind when I realized I wouldn’t be able to finish the half marathon. I had barely made it out of the parking lots and almost walked to my car. I was thinking up excuses to put on my pages about maybe getting hurt or something to no one would think less of me. But you know what, this is real. Sh*t happens. 5 years ago, when I ran my first half marathon, I was 100 pounds lighter and was a little bit more active than I am now. I was also 5 years younger (which doesn’t seem much in your twenties, but shoot it is). I also didn’t stop training 2 weeks prior to my run and I stuck to my training program religiously. But there is no shame in not completing the original task. I did complete A run just not the one I originally intended.

Which brings me to my next point: course correct or switch courses altogether. I realized 25 minutes in that I was not going to be able to physically finish 13.1 miles. My body was telling me hell-to-the-no. But I had another option – the 5-mile. And it still sucked. My feet started falling asleep towards the end due to my shin splints. I would have had to been go-carted back had I continued the half marathon route. But you have to assess the situation and find an alternative solution. It may not be the exact same outcome, but you still get to the end just the same. I finished the race.

Third point: Ask someone for advice. My mom is pretty much the one person I go to for almost all advice. Or I’ll have made a decision and semi-run it by her to see what she thinks. But in that moment, she was the one who really helped me not freak out. Before I texted her, I was to the brink of tears because I so no way out other than quitting and walking to my car. But she had advice that changed my focus. Ask someone – friend, mentor, parent, etc. Someone that you trust. They won’t steer you wrong.

Last point: Try again. You bet your ass I’m signing up for a half marathon and I will complete it. I am hoping to do the BMW Dallas Half in December, but we’ll see how I feel later this week. Now that I have gone through the experience, I want to beat my most recent distance. I want to complete a half marathon. Stay tuned 😊

What’s funny, the race put up times from the event. I found my information under the 5-miler (so they caught that I changed too) and even though I was last, I somehow finished 5th in my gender/age range!! HA! So, hey, there’s that! And side note, even if any of you did care that I didn’t finish a half marathon, who cares. You don’t pay my bills! “ ‘less they paying yo bills, pay them b*tches no mind”.

We are winding down to the last 2 months of the year. 60ish days until 2019 – how weird. It’s about that time to start thinking of New Year’s Resolutions – but do you have any end of year 2018 challenges you are wanting to get done? I have a few I’m thinking on but I’ll share once I’ve decided – maybe you can join me!

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week. With everything that has been going on in the world lately, know that even though I may not see you face to face or even know who you are, I love you. You are loved.

Enjoy your extra hour of sleep!